Final of Janeee

I kept thinking of Jane, what she did with Stradlater that night, why she always kept her king in the back row while we would play chess, that day she was crying and I was there for her. So because of that, and because I was back home I decided to walk to her house and see her.
As I walked out of my house, Phoebe stopped me. "Where are you going so late at night? Daddy'll kill you!
"God damn will you stop being so nosey. I am going to see Jane, and all daddy'll not kill me."
So as I walked down the steps of my house, and made the turn on the sidewalk leading down towards the house, I kept thinking of her. I was walking in the dark, and it was quiet. I finally reached Jane's porch. As I walked up the stairs I started to get nervous, I got butterflies in my stomach; I didn’t want to ring the doorbell. I stood there, looking at the familiar yet foreign porch; it hadn’t changed much since Jane and I were sitting on it playing our chess. I just thought to myself, goddamn ring the bell already. I finally got the nerve to ring it, as the door slowly opened. I felt my heartbeat race up, I kept thinking of what to say to Jane so I didn’t seem like a phony, or a dumb ass. The door opened all the way, it was just Jane's mom.
"Is Jane home?" I asked her mom, and she answered, "No she went out. Somewhere but she will be back in a little. If you would like to stick around, and wait for her you may." So I entered the house. I haven’t been in that house for over 10 years now. Still I had no clue of what to say to Jane yet. "I haven’t seen you around lately, but make yourself comfortable." She said. So I just sat down on the couch right by the door. "Excuse me, where is the can?" I questioned "up the stairs." She replied. I walked up the creaky stairs and walked down the hall to the can, as I was walking I looked at the house; all these mixed feelings came to me. I missed that house; I missed those memories, I was anxious to be back in the house. I got the can and used it. After walking out, I peeked into Jane's room; it still looked the same since 10 years ago. So I entered. I did feel a little guilty as to give her privacy but it wasn’t like I was harming any one. So I just stayed, I sat on her bed, and looked around. I looked straight on to her counter top; there was this red box. So I opened the box, and I looked inside, all I saw was goddamn papers. Why the hell does that interest me? Well I looked through and I saw this one poem and it said the THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU. I am guessing it was from Jane writing about the guy she liked so I decided to be a goddamn nosey kid and I read it.
Every day I look forward to the times with you.
I know I can count on you when I feel blue
You're always the one to cheer me up
You make me smile
And I know I haven’t known you for a while
But I have strong feelings toward you
I don’t know what to do
You're always on my mind
You are so sweet and kind
I love to hang around with you, and cant wait till the next day
I always look at the clock, after you leave, counting the seconds till I can see you again
I don’t know what to say
Except for the fact that I LOVE YOU!
Holden, I keep my kings in the back row for a reason, I keep them there so I d don’t lose them, and to be honest I hope you're the king in my life of chess.

I read this, and I felt something, I don’t know I never felt this way before, why do I feel so strongly about Jane. Why do I always think about her? Is it because she is the only thing in my life that isn't phony, is she the only person that isn't phony? Is it because she isn't a sunuvabitch? I think I feel the same way about Jane, I wonder when she wrote this. As I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, I panicked. I just threw everything into the box, and I put it back where I got it, I ran out of the doorway of Jane's room, and acted like I came from the bathroom. Jane walked up the stairs.
"Holden what are you doing here. I haven’t seen you in over ten years." She said
"I don’t know I just wanted to come by and visit, see how you were doing. Maybe to come just chat and maybe even just play a little chess. And just talk and get reacquainted." As I said this, I was nervous trying to hide the fact that I read something. I was just trying to cover up my goddamn back. I wasn’t doing to great of a job though, I could feel my self-sweating, and I felt flush.
"Holden what's on your mind? I know something is wrong." She questioned.
Is that why I kept thinking about Jane, because she always knew when something was up, and she always knew what was going on, what was the reasoning, I still couldn’t figure it out. I was stuck on that and the fact if I should tell her I read the poem or just let it go, because it was from a long time ago, and she probably still doesn’t feel the same. So I just decided to be a man, and just come out with it.
"Actually Jane there is something on my mind. You see tonight I came here to talk too you, and you were not home, and so I was invited into your house, and well while I was walking to the bathroom, I sort of walked right into your room, looked around and sort of just looked in your red box, and read a poem. And before you think about getting mad, I feel the same way about you. I missed playing chess with you. I really like you and I cant stop thinking about you…" "Uhmmm.." Jane tried to interrupt. "No let me finish, I am not done. I am so sorry for going through your stuff, but I really do care for you and this is no lie. I don’t exactly know what I am attracted to, whether it is that you're not phony, or that you know how to play chess well, or your independence, I don’t know at all. All I know is that I am attracted to you." I finished. "Are you dong?" she asked me. She seemed to be a little angry. "Yess." I answered very timidly. I was afraid she would never want to talk to me again. "Look I wasn’t home because I heard you were back, and I came to talk to you. I know you were Stradlaters roommate, and he did mention you asking about me, after that night, I just couldn’t get you off my mind either. So I went over to your house to come see you to tell you everything, but you were not there. Everything I wrote about you is all true, that’s the truth, and I still feel that way about you. We didn’t work out back then, but I want it to work out now. Please, I wrote another thing for you to read out loud, but I will do it for you. Here I go:

You were asking about me and that filled me with glee
So now I decided to give you the key
The key to my heart
I know you are very smart, and I know you can go far in life
And some day I hope to be your wife
I really want to spend the rest of my life with you
So please give it a chance
I really do care about you
And I hope you care about me too
I just love you that’s all.
As she finished that poem all I could do was smile. The grin on my face was so big, so big that all my teeth were showing. I never showed that much emotion and I never cared about any thing in my life as much as this. All I could do was just sit there in awe; I know that made it so goddamn awkward. So I just said I love you to, and I hope I don’t every hurt her because I could never dream of doing that to her. I realized that I don’t have to life to myself any more, when I am around her I am different, I can just be me. I don’t have to act all tough, I know that between me and Jane everything is so goddamn real, and maybe that is the reason why I fell hard for her. I hope this goddamn thing works out.











Analysis
My story is on Jane, and Holden ending up together. Holden finds a poem written by Jane back when they were younger, and it says her feelings for him, and then Holden finally figured out that being phony is dumb, and he shouldn’t act tough any more. And he also revealed his more sensitive side. I wrote this story in this way, because I always figured that Jane and Holden would end up together. I mean they have the history. They go back a long time, and back when they used to play chess, they had chemistry. In the book, Holden would say how they would hold hands, and how he liked her, and everyone knew she liked him. Also when Holden kept thinking of Jane, and how he kept wondering what happened on the date with Stradlater. So I just pictured them ending up together. I wrote that last part of the poem, about the king in the back row as a metaphor. I didn’t exactly know why it is mentioned in the book so I just assumed.
I also tried to reveal Holden's more sensitive side, I know he has one, he just tries to have it and act all tough, but now I made it so that he finally realized that he could himself. Because Jane is herself, and she isn't phony, and that’s why he likes her, because he can be himself. I feel that he is sensitive because he really does care about things, it may not seem like it, or it may not be obvious but he does show it. Like that one day, that him and Jane were playing chess, Jane's step dad came out and asked her for a cigarette, and he kept asking her, once he left, she started to cry, Holden moved by her, and started to comfort that, I am sure that shows sensitivity.